You’ve probably heard the expression ‘happiness is an inside job’. This means that in the end, real happiness is found when we cultivate a series of inner resources that we can call upon to make the good times feel great, and the setbacks less stressful.

In other words, happiness that arises when external circumstances are met, for example, losing weight, getting a promotion or buying a new car doesn’t generally last. But happiness that is generated internally, through inner resources like gratitude, compassion, perspective, acceptance and so on, stands the test of time.
In this blog we’ll explore what these inner resources are, and how meditation for happiness is a great way to grow happy, from the inside out.

What are inner resources?

When understanding the idea of inner resources (or strengths as they are referred to in positive psychology), I like to imagine the metaphor of a strong and wise tree. Imagine yourself as this tree, standing tall in your natural environment. And imagine now that these inner resources are like the roots that hold us together, that allow us to stand strong and to feel resilient even when the winds of change and challenge blow through our environment and our lives. No one can see these roots of ours, these resources that live deep within us, underneath the surface. But they are there, feeding us, sustaining us, allowing us to feel strong, secure and resilient.

When we walk through our days with these inner resources deep within, with these strong roots, we feel grounded. We feel able to move with the seasons of our lives with a sense of freedom, ease, acceptance and grace.

Why do we need to make an effort to grow inner resources?

Why do we need to intentionally grow the good within us? Why don’t we grow these resources naturally without the need for effort? It all comes down to our human evolution and our negativity bias.

To keep our ancestors alive, the human brain developed a negativity bias. Whilst historically this was helpful to avoid being eaten by a lion or a bear, today it is less useful for our overall sense of happiness and well-being. Today, this negativity bias often results in us focusing on unnecessary worries and fears and having a less optimistic outlook on life. When we add busyness, stress, anxiety or a sense of overwhelm to this negativity bias, we may find ourselves moving through our days seeing life as a whole lot of little challenges to be overcome, mishaps to be avoided, fires to be put out, rather than seeing life as a series of opportunities for happiness, fulfillment, connection, meaning and satisfaction.

Modern day life coupled with our negativity bias means we move through our days allowing negative experiences to really stick whilst those positive experiences just slide right off without having the opportunity to be absorbed into our awareness, into the detailed fabric of our minds, bodies and hearts.

Understanding your negativity bias

Can you think back to a time when you let a small inconvenience taint your day? Perhaps you let bad traffic, a chaotic morning, a delayed train or an uncomfortable conversation with a colleague or friend really get to you.

Perhaps you can think back to a time at work when you received some overall positive feedback about your performance with just one suggestion for improvement, and instead of seeing this for what it really was, you focused only on the suggestion for improvement, taking it as a personal criticism or even as an insult.

Maybe you enjoyed a lovely weekend with family and friends, but let one slightly critical comment made by a friend or relative really sink in and take over the overall feeling of happiness and connection that was present during this time together.

Or what about all the small acts of kindness that you receive each day, that go by largely unnoticed. When your partner makes you a cup of tea, when the person serving you at the grocery store packs your groceries with extra thought and attention. What about when a colleague holds the lift for you, when a stranger smiles at you in the street or when someone lets you out in traffic. What about all the good decisions you make, the moments in your days that go by without a hitch, the times when life just runs smoothly.

These are the moments that we let slide right off without being absorbed. These are the everyday opportunities that hold the seeds of our happiness and fulfillment. We must orientate our awareness to these moment, we must linger in these, savour them so that we can feel happy and content with our lives.

When we allow ourselves to linger in these everyday moments of happiness and satisfaction, we not only experience happiness in that moment, but we are also strengthening the neural pathways in our minds that lead to greater happiness. This practice of turning everyday opportunities for happiness into a more deeply felt, enduring sense of happiness and well-being is what world famous neuro-scientist Dr. Rick Hanson refers to as changing an experience from a state to a trait. In Dr. Hanson’s famous words "Every time you take in the good, you build a little bit of neural structure. Doing this a few times a day will gradually change your brain, and how you feel and act in far-reaching ways”.

So how do you turn an ordinary everyday moment into an opportunity for happiness. And how do you then transform this fleeting moment into a more deeply felt enduring sense of happiness and well-being?

Letting the good times land

The key is to let the good times land. This means that we stay with the positive experience for at least five breaths or 45 seconds. So next time you notice a sunset or sunrise, the changing of seasons or a beautiful sky, pause, and really take the moment in. Engage your senses, notice colours, textures and sounds. Take a few deep breaths into the moment and trust that as you linger here, you are transforming this moment of gratitude and presence into an inner resource.

Meditation for happiness

Amazingly, we can build this muscle or neural pathway by focusing our attention on past, present or future experiences of happiness or fulfillment. Pretty incredible!

Guided meditations for happiness are a powerful way to strengthen your happy muscles, especially when they involve you recalling happy moments from your past. In meditation we slow down, we enter our sensate world, and we allow the good times to actually land. Similarly, happiness guided meditations that invite you to imagine a time in your future that may be filled with gratitude, connection, compassion, awe and wonder and so on are also helping you strengthen your neural pathways for happiness.

Keen to try guided meditations for happiness so you can experience happiness from the inside out.

Download the free meditation app The Happy Habit today and try the 10- or 30-day happiness challenge for free.